“The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him.”
Psalm 92:12-15
You may be in a season where you remember being a spiritual giant, full of new revelation and vigor where you really were able to pour out your soul to God and for God and are now in a season of rest. Often, we perceive that rest as the equivalent of earthly retirement, where we’re cut a severance package and left by the wayside while others move forward. We long for that sense of direction and excitement and are fearful that God has no more use for us.
Or you might not be in a season of rest. You might be in the season lovingly called, “the tyranny of toddlers,” or one where the work is laborious and hard, or one where you’re just older and not able to do as much. In all of these seasons, life as you once knew it, and the person you were before, seem gone.
Before I had kids, I spent a lot of time developing a thick skin, because I grew up so sensitive that the news hurt my heart. By the time I was an adult, I was hard and I liked it that way. I felt strong and powerful. Then I had kids, and now I cry at Dove commercials. There are days I really miss that strong young woman who felt like she could take on the world, but I’ve learned to thank God for connecting me to my soul in a different way.
It’s ok to grieve. It’s ok to admit you didn’t think the present would look the way it does and long for what was before. Thankfully there is truth we can cling to that unlike the seasons, the Father says, “I, the LORD, do not change. Therefore you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed. ” (Malachi 3:6) I want to encourage you, for your reflection and prayer time, take some time to think about who you were, and thank God for that season, whether or not it was hard, ask Him to help you embrace who you are today.
