It’s ironic that I go to a dry place to refresh my soul. Last week I did my monthly desert get away solitude get my head & heart on straight time.
This time was a little different than the last two. I felt the freedom to journal & to even do a little reading.
• I finished Bo’s Café a powerful book that my friend John Lynch wrote (John has agreed to come & speak at Journey in December – get stoked NOW). Click here for info on Bo’s.
• I began reading Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller.
• I had a great run, but forgot my visor thing so I felt like Lawrence of Arabia by the end with the sun beating down on my face.
• The birds were starving apparently – I kept feeding them & they kept coming and grubbing. So cool!
Maybe it was the ideas from Bo’s Café, maybe it was that I’ve been trafficking in Ezekiel in my own time with God, maybe it’s the message on “Real Worship for the Real God” but I felt like God was saying: boy, we’re going to get real here”. I’m like, oooookkkkk???
I woke up on Tuesday with a line from an old Rod Stewart (Faces) song in my head.
“I firmly believed that I, didn’t need anyone but me.
I sincerely thought I was so complete… look how wrong you can be.” (from Every Picture Tells A Story – a great song)
Now remember, I’m basically silent for these days. It’s not like I’m bumping classic rock tunes & of course they get in your head. I mean, I woke up with this as the very 1st thing in my dome. Hmmmm.
Here’s a bit of vulnerability (stop reading if you like perfect pastor types)
I wrote this after some time in the scriptures.
You are safe. You know everything about me, all the ugly, repulsive ^%$$. This, Your presence is a place where I can, must be real. But even here I find myself afraid to lose control. I find myself trying to mange this because I’m afraid of what You might tell me to do. I haven’t had this feeling for a while. But I have it!
After looking at the 50 or so birds feeding a few feet from me, I wrote this:
One dove has to take a chance & fly into the feeder. Next thing you know, they are all there – it’s packed. Is the seed on the ground the next level of risk for them?
It seems like every one of these little adventures has it’s own script, and I’m not the guy who gets to write it.
The best way I can describe this one was like a 1st aid pro cleaning out a scrape type wound. You think they are going to just kind of lightly wife off the blood, but they have to scrub a little to make sure they get out all the foreign objects to avoid infection.
I wrote this shortly before I packed up & headed for home:
Seems like I had to face a lot of ugly stuff and re-experience forgiveness. Help me to truly turn from whatever & to YOU!
Funny thing about His hand on you: even the wounds feel like love.
Thank you sir, may I have another. Looking forward to next month!